21 Lessons I want to Share as I turn 21
Today, I turn 21 — an age where I truly enter the adulthood. I am [sadly] getting older, yet [fortunately & hopefully] more wiser.
And if I could go and share my lessons with my 16–17 year old self, these are the 21 lessons I’d share:
1. Time is Scarce
It feels like I just blinked once and boom, I turned 21. Time flies and like Eminem says, “Better go capture this moment and hope it don’t pass him”. When you can, save time. Say no to things that you don’t want to do and spend time doing things you want to do. Just trust me … and also stop blinking too much.
2. Challenge the World Around You
The more you stop and observe the world, the more you see how we’ve, as a society, become so obedient to these “made-up” rules by people in power. Whether it’s expectations from the society or living your life your way. Challenge the system and be a little rebellious. Spice up your life a little.
3. Get rejected, as much as possible
I know it hurts. I know it sucks, but just suck it up and just do it. The more you get rejected, the more comfortable you get, getting rejected, and eventually it just does not hurt. Keep pushing your boundaries and get rejected. It’s important for your personal growth.
4. Care about the process, not so much the result
I know you want to conquer the world and all that, but it’s really not the result that matters. Sure you want to change the world, but it’s the process, the journey, the path, and the experience you go through that teaches you and makes everything worth while. The result is a consequence. Don’t focus on the result, focus on the process (and trust it).
5. Be happy and smile as much as possible
You have limited time on this planet, so why live it being sad and depressed? Just say, “Fuck it” and smile. Be happy and make others happy. Even something as small as smiling can really change your mood, plus everyone loves being around someone who always enjoys the little parts of life.
6. Solitude isn’t that bad
The society makes it seem like being alone is bad. It’s not. Rather, solitude has truly transformed me and has allowed me to become more self-aware. Giving yourself the time, alone, to think about yourself, your goal, your “purpose” is a medium for enlightenment. I just spent my 21st birthday alone and it allowed me to go outside of my comfort zone and talk to strangers and actually just made a friend. Try it out. It’s 100% worth it.
7. Don’t worry about getting that “A”
I know how you’re stressing out so much trying to get that A in that class. Stop it, honestly. Your grade does not define you, nor does it define your intelligence. It’s your skill set, your character, and your values which defines you. Focus on the right things.
8. Become an independent thinker
Think for your own self. Going back to #2, don’t believe everything you see because it’s a play set up by the society. Have your own thoughts, question things, and do not conform just because it’s the norm. You have a brain — actually use it.
9. Try Different Things
Just do things and explore. It’s so much fun to find your passions and things you enjoy. Just like try to get rejected as much as possible, try different things as much as possible because it just makes you more of a fun person.
10. It’s gonna be hard
Life is what it is — a rollercoaster full of celebrations and empty promises. Sometimes, things just may not work in your favor. Sometimes, it is not going to be fair. But sometimes, you just have to live with it.
11. Why is the glass-even half full?
Think outside the box. Don’t see the world as half-full glass or half-empty glass, ask yourself, who put the glass there and why did they only fill it half-way through? Don’t question the obvious — everyone can do that. Ask weird questions and think from a different perspective. It’ll make your life like 77% more humorous and deep.
12. Don’t worry about things you can’t control
Some things you just can’t control. So don’t try to put all your energy into trying to control those things. The only thing you can control is yourself and the way you react. Be more composed and calm. Getting angry or punching things has never settled a war.
13. Surround yourself with ambitious people
If you want to be great, surround yourself with people that are great, or on their path towards greatness. You will instinctually want to become better at everything you do, whether it’s work or picking up other amazing habits, like reading books or playing an instrument.
14. Yes, You Can
Shit, believe in yourself. You are surrounded by people who will doubt everything you do. They’ll tell you take the safer route or just follow the rules. I say fuck the rules. Believe in your abilities and trust yourself — the last thing you want to do in this “messed up” world is to doubt your own self.
15. It’s gonna be alright
It’ll all work out. That problem you’re going through … it’s just a phase; it’s temporary. As time passes, so will the problems. So instead of freaking out or trying to control them, just close your eyes, take a deep breathe, and let it go by.
16. People come and go
You will meet people, be close to them, and suddenly you’ll lose touch and the connection will fade away. And that’s okay tbh. Not everyone is meant to stay in your life. As you grow, the people you surround yourself with changes. Just try to be a good friend to others while you can (it means a lot to the other person).
17. Read books and expand your knowledge
Don’t get stuck inside your classrooms. Go out and read books, whether it’s business, psychology, astrophysics, or philosophy. Learning is a life-long commitment and nothing is better than learning from people who have left their mark with those books.
18. Keep an open-mind
Try to learn as much as you can from other people. Keep an open mind and be open to be criticized. Whether it’s someone much older than you or younger, everyone has their experiences and there’s always something you can learn.
19. Don’t start a startup by yourself
You probably don’t even know what startup is (just google it), but just don’t do it alone. Find people that believe in the same thing you as you do and show them how you can, together, impact the future. Inspire a shared vision.
20. Ignore the noise
Ignore what people think of you. You one have life — live it your way. Do things your way. In 200 years, everyone you know will be dead so don’t let their words of discouragement stop you from doing that thing you really want to. Fuck them. If there’s something you want to do, just do it.
21. You don’t know anything
Always be dumb, so that you give yourself the opportunity to learn. Like Socrates said, “All I know is that I know nothing.” Don’t act like you know things. Just say the 3 secret words: “I don’t know.” That will allow others to teach you things. Let them be the teacher. Always be a student (willing to learn).
I’m still only 21 and I have a lot of failures to face, things to learn, mistakes to make, hurdles to jump over, and success to feel, and that’s part of life. Just remember, no matter what age, you can always be a better version of yourself. Keep striving to be the better version of yourself.
Good luck.
